A growing number of committed couples are rejecting legal marriage altogether, opting instead for “unweddings”—celebrations that mirror traditional weddings in every way except the paperwork. A study by the Pew Research Center found that 25% of cohabiting couples under 40 have no plans to legally wed, citing reasons ranging from student debt penalties to philosophical objections against state-sanctioned unions. Instead, they’re hosting lavish ceremonies, wearing rings, and exchanging vows—all without a marriage license.
The unwedding movement challenges societal norms around partnership legitimacy. Couples in this camp argue that love shouldn’t require government validation, especially when legal marriage can carry financial downsides. For example, some dual-income couples face the “marriage penalty” at tax time, while others risk losing disability benefits or student loan repayment plans. LGBTQ+ couples, in particular, may feel ambivalent about an institution that denied them rights for so long.
Unweddings are anything but casual. Planners report demand for full-scale events with floral arches, catered dinners, and professional photography—just no officiant filing legal documents. Some couples draft private commitment contracts outlining shared responsibilities, while others forgo formalities entirely, treating the event as a declaration of love in front of their community.
Critics accuse unwedding couples of wanting “the party without the responsibility,” but proponents counter that responsibility isn’t tied to a license. They point to studies showing that cohabiting couples can be just as committed as married ones—sometimes more so, as their bond isn’t upheld by legal inertia.
As unweddings gain visibility—fueled by celebrity examples like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell’s decades-long partnership—they’re forcing a reevaluation of what makes a marriage “real.” For many, the answer lies not in a courthouse, but in the promises made before loved ones, rings or not.
