Weddings are rich with symbolism, traditions, and carefully orchestrated moments. One of the most pivotal parts of the ceremony is the exchange of rings—a timeless gesture that represents commitment, unity, and eternal love. As such, ensuring that the rings are in safe and accessible hands before the exchange is a key responsibility that often leads to the question: Who holds the rings during a wedding?
Though it might seem like a minor detail, the decision of who holds the wedding rings can significantly impact the smooth flow of the ceremony. The answer to this question varies based on cultural traditions, personal preferences, and the style of the wedding.
The Traditional Role: Best Man and Maid/Matron of Honor
Best Man
In most Western cultures, the best man traditionally holds both wedding rings or at least the groom’s ring. He is often tasked with safeguarding the rings until the exchange portion of the ceremony. The best man is usually a close friend or relative of the groom and holds a significant role not just during the ceremony but throughout the wedding planning and reception as well.
When the officiant announces the time for the ring exchange, the best man steps forward and presents the rings, ensuring a seamless and elegant transition during the ceremony. This role requires a level of responsibility, attention to detail, and timing, making it essential that the person chosen is trustworthy and dependable.
Maid or Matron of Honor
In some ceremonies—especially when both partners wish to emphasize equality—the rings may be split between the best man and the maid or matron of honor. In such cases, the maid of honor may hold the groom’s ring while the best man holds the bride’s ring. This balanced approach can make the ceremony feel more inclusive and symbolic of partnership.
The maid of honor, typically the bride’s closest female friend or relative, plays an equally crucial role in supporting the bride throughout the wedding day. Handing over the groom’s ring at the right moment adds to her ceremonial duties and importance.
Alternative Options: Children, Family Members, and Ring Boxes
Ring Bearer
For couples who wish to incorporate younger family members into the ceremony, assigning the role of ring bearer is a cherished tradition. Typically, a young boy (between the ages of 4 and 10) is chosen for this role. The ring bearer walks down the aisle carrying the wedding rings—either real or symbolic—on a small decorative pillow, in a box, or in a custom-designed holder.
However, due to the risk of misplacement or mishandling, it’s common for the rings on the pillow to be symbolic, with the real rings being held securely by the best man or maid of honor. This compromise allows for the adorable photo opportunities and sentimental value of a child ring bearer without the logistical risk.
Parents or Grandparents
In more intimate or family-oriented weddings, some couples choose to have their parents or grandparents hold the rings. This is particularly touching in ceremonies where family traditions or heritage play a central role. For example, a grandmother might present the bride’s ring as a way of symbolizing generational love and continuity.
This option adds a layer of emotional depth to the ceremony, emphasizing the significance of family blessings and lineage in the marital journey.
Officiant
In some weddings, especially more minimalist or secular ones, the officiant may hold both rings until it’s time for the exchange. This method is logistically simple and ensures that the rings are directly on hand for the officiant to present when the moment arrives. It also keeps the focus squarely on the ceremony without introducing additional moving parts.
This approach is common in civil ceremonies or smaller, less formal weddings where roles such as best man or maid of honor may be absent.
Cultural and Religious Variations
Christian Weddings
In most Christian wedding traditions, the best man and maid of honor typically handle the rings. The best man usually presents both rings to the officiant, who then blesses them before the couple exchanges them. In Catholic weddings, the rings may be blessed by the priest before they are placed on the fingers of the bride and groom.
Jewish Weddings
In Jewish ceremonies, the groom often gives the bride a ring as a part of the Kiddushin (betrothal). Traditionally, only one ring is exchanged—usually by the groom—though modern Jewish weddings often include mutual ring exchanges. The rings are usually handed to the rabbi or officiant by a close family member or best man.
Hindu Weddings
Hindu weddings may not traditionally involve the exchange of rings, though modern ceremonies often incorporate this Western practice. When included, the rings are typically held by a trusted family member or placed on a ceremonial tray (thali) as part of the ritual proceedings.
Muslim Weddings
Muslim wedding ceremonies (Nikah) traditionally don’t include the ring exchange as part of the religious ritual. However, many Muslim couples incorporate a ring ceremony as a cultural practice. The rings may be held by family members or a trusted friend.
Practical Considerations for Ring Custody
Security and Safety
Whoever holds the rings should be absolutely trustworthy. The rings are small, valuable, and deeply sentimental items. Losing or misplacing them can create unnecessary stress and potentially derail the ceremony. It’s wise to:
- Keep the rings in a secure box or pouch.
- Avoid giving real rings to small children.
- Conduct a pre-ceremony run-through to ensure everyone knows their role.
Timing and Access
The person holding the rings must be seated or positioned close enough to the couple and officiant to hand over the rings at the appropriate moment without awkward delays. Clear communication during the rehearsal is essential.
Personalization and Style
Modern weddings offer flexibility and creativity. Some couples opt for custom-made ring holders—like lockets, engraved boxes, or even family heirlooms—to add a personal touch. These can be held by anyone meaningful to the couple, adding symbolism and uniqueness to the ritual.
Conclusion
There is no universally correct answer to who should hold the rings during a wedding. The choice ultimately depends on the couple’s preferences, the structure of the ceremony, and the people involved. Whether it’s the best man, maid of honor, ring bearer, a parent, or the officiant, the key is to assign someone reliable, respectful of the ceremony’s significance, and capable of handling the responsibility.
The moment when the rings are exchanged is one of the most iconic and emotionally charged parts of the wedding. Ensuring a smooth and symbolic delivery of the rings helps create a ceremony that is both memorable and meaningful. By carefully choosing who holds the rings, couples can blend tradition with personal values, creating a wedding that reflects their unique love story.
